I asked my mom to send me a package about two weeks into my trip. Like the wonderful mother she is, she got everything I asked for together and basically next day’d it to me. Sadly, it ended up costing an arm, a leg, a kidney and my left lung AND thanks to customs I just got the package today..Almost 3 weeks after it arrived in Ghana.
Regardless, I was amped to get my package today. She sent a bunch of granola bars and tissues and hand sanitizer and four new moderately fitted dresses. Although she got the dresses in the right size, they were not my usual tent sized dress so I moderately panicked.
I hate form fitting things. Like the dresses mom got me actually fit but I would NEVER have bought them because they would have been too tight in my mind.
I wouldn’t consider myself to have body image issues or low self esteem but I would say that I am very conscious of my body. And being in Ghana has made me that much more conscious of my shape. I’m just straight up larger than a lot of Ghanain women and on top of that, I am shaped differently than they are.
Since I’ve been here, multiple people have commented, both positively and negatively, on my size. I think that those comments have contributed to my hyper awareness of my appearance. Tonight when I started thinking about some of the negative things that have been said to me, I sunk into a funk. A funk where all I could think about was how not beautiful and unworthy I was. When I get into these moods at home, I go sit outside or drive around and think. But here the mosquitos are out and driving at night is out of the question.
So how to get out of my funk? I started by listening to Meghan Trainor cause you know she’s got a body positive vibe. But that wasn’t really cutting it and I couldn’t stop thinking about this one Bible verse. So I ditched my girl Meghan and opened my bible to Songs of Solomon 4:7–“You are all together beautiful darling; there is no flaw in you”.
It’s easy for me to find the beauty and flawless nature of other people. It’s easy for me to see people here through God’s eyes. It’s easy for me to look at other people and think Imago Dei: that person was made in the image of God and has been stamped with God’s seal of perfection.
So why can’t I see that stamp of perfection in myself?
I tend to think that somehow I’m not good enough or am defective in some way. But really, that stamp is in me just like it’s in every person on this planet. Every person has things that they don’t like about themselves. But sometimes we just need to realize that those quirks aren’t bad. They are what make us unique.
God doesn’t make mistakes. He made each and every one of us in His perfect and awesome image. Take what God gave you and run with it because you are beautiful.
So just in case you are where I was earlier and need to be reminded…
You are intelligent.
You are beautiful.
You are worthy of love.
You are fearfully and wonderfully made.
You are enough.